It isn't necessary to write down the words. You know what it will look like page by page and that's enough to know.
That's everything really. There's a whole class of writers who don't want their books to be read. This to some extent explains their crazed prose. To express what is expressible isn't why you write if you're in this class of writers. To be understood is faintly embarrassing.
What you want to express is the violence of your desire not be read. The friction of an audience is what drives writers crazy.
round-bottom flask, you make the rocking world go round !
[ OCt 79, Sondra an' Jenks, first meeting: Drama prof runs boarding house. She's there to see him / but something's taken place in the basement. a student has crashed a gasoline-powered go-kart through the door of Cultural Anthropology major Jenkins "Jenks" Cromar while he was admiring chord progressions with Tazewell "Taz" Patton, leading the latter to leave in disgust. Jenks storms out onto lawn to complain to his landlord, drunk at 9am and wearing a cape. says he'll need some corroborating witnesses and seizes on Sondra, who was passing through at the time. Nothing comes of it, though, but Jenks expresses appreciation to Sondra for - you know - trying. they go out for coffee : she finds him knowledgeable, but arrogant / he finds out where she's from and - needing a base of operations for his next Project - tries to discover her (provisional) "heart's desire" ..]